Justnowism

I'm not surprised, are you?

The Real Dr. Seuss Impersonator

I recently received a cool poem in my e-mail that rhymed and carried a rhythm well. It was entitled "Why Computers Crash" and was attributed to Dr Seuss.

I've been an admirer of the works of Theodor Seuss Geisel (aka Dr Seuss) since I was a kid. One of my favourite books during my childhood was called "I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew" which was about a guy who went looking for a place to escape his troubles and went off to search out Solla Sollew "...where they never have troubles, at least very few...". It was such a popular book in our family that when we bought a farm in 1981 and ran the place on solar panels we called the property "Solar Sollew". Clever eh?

However, knowing that Dr Seuss had passed away in 1991 I went off to find the origin of this poem and found the answer via Google at one of my favourite websites - Hoax-Slayer. (I might just add this to my links list while I think of it.)

The original poem is quite a bit longer and carries the Dr Seuss feel all the way through. However the poem was written in 1994 by Gene Ziegler. It can be found in it's entirety published online by the author on his Cornell University homepage. The poem is actually called "A Grandchild's Guide to Using Grandpa's Computer".

Then some bastard edited it, renamed it and re-attributed it to Dr Seuss - digital vandalism.

Apparently Gene was unimpressed and he tears some virtual shreds off his dastardly digital nemesis with a second poem entitled "Hang the Information Highwayman!" - also a good read knowing a little of the history behind it.

Of course this abridged version of the poem has been circulating by e-mail since 1995 and has probably had the title changed numerous times since it's original plagiarism. The e-mail I received had the acronym risc incorrectly spell corrected to risk and even thanks Bill Gates for supplying the experiences described in the poem, yet it was written about a Macintosh computer about a year before the release of Windows95.

So if you get this e-mail sent to you, be sure to let the sender know about the original. Not only for Gene's sake, but also for the readers, because the original poem in its entirety is simply a better read.

Chased and caught!

Chasers War on Everything poses as APEC security guards.

They make headlines worldwide the next day when they make one hundred and forty million dollars worth of security look like the joke it was. Channel Nine cover it nicely stating the facts of what happened and providing interviews.

Channel Seven being the drama queens that they are tried to make it all look dark and menacing like they've hired the staff of Womans Weekly to put it together. Tossers.

Channel Ten show how the world took notice and also show the "insecurity passes" that state that it was all a joke.

How can they start the story off by saying its no laughing matter when the entire country is pissin' itself?

Old news now, but interesting how each channels current affairs programs portray the story. I couldn't find a story on YouTube by the ABC, but then I'm sure Chaser's War on Everything will fill us in when they can...

One thing they did do was make sure that few people heard about any of the real protests that were going on...

Happy Labour Day

Happy 100th blog post.

I would like to celebrate my 100th post by pointing out the irony of a Labour Day public holiday. Lets all celebrate Labour day by not doing any.

Confidence

There's always bushisms.

When I'm waiting on Premiere Pro to render some video sequence I have just thrown together on my PC, if my Internet hasn't been capped, I go looking at YouTube, GoogleVideo and sometimes Google Current. Google Current is an half-hourly five minute program on topics that are popular in searches on Google. Anyone with a decent speed Internet connection should have this site on their favourites.

Of course if I am capped, I just sit and refresh the Chimp-O-Matic.

Taking it for a drive.

Penny ArcadeIf you can't read it properly, just click it to go to the original Penny Arcade page.

Well I got Vista. I paid for an Upgrade version of Ultimate Edition. Gotta say, shouldn't have bothered. It's got a few neat things like built-in voice recognition. Plenty of stuff that I just want to rip out like Media Player 11 and Internet Explorer 7. I have put it on the secondary machine which also doubles as our TV and Media Center. However it seems that old machine doesn't have the graphics power to push the new Aero Glass interface around. I'll post again when I have played with it a bit more.

Imagine

Crazed Killer Dolphin Visciously Attacks Defenceless Woman!

There are still reports coming in about the poor woman who was attacked by a deranged aquatic killing machine while sitting on the bow of a five-an-a-half meter runabout near Slipper Island in the Bay of Plenty, New Zealand on Boxing Day. The Daily Record of Scotland, in a story entitled "Jack the Flipper" described the dolphin as 'crazed' and caused several injuries to the 27 year old when it jumped out of the water and hit her. The animal landed on her and crushed her with over half a ton of weight before the insane mammal rolled itself out of the boat and swam off unharmed and laughing. The Dominion Post of New Zealand writes that the woman suffered two heart attacks as rescuers tried to get her to safety. Her partner saw the whole thing and was a bit upset. Another woman was thrown through the windscreen and canopy of the boat during the incident, but she's okay.

The Daily Record of Scotland also points out that this is not the first time a dolphin has callously attacked a person.

Actress Susan Sarandon was attacked in the 1970's by a jealous female dolphin while playing with a male dolphin called Joe, which was also the name of the first movie she was in. I remember seeing Robin Williams get attacked while he was filming Dolphins of the World. I remember him suddenly being scared of them. In 2003, National Geographic interviewed four women who were swimming with captive dolphins in an aquarium in Mexico when one of them was pinned to the side of the tank by a female dolphin.

During my search for information on evil killer dolphins, I found a very disturbing story from The Observer in the UK. Thirty-six bottlenose dolphins carrying "toxic dart guns", trained for attack-and-kill missions by the US Navy are missing since Hurricane Katrina compromised their coastal compound and swept them out to sea. They have apparently been trained to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels, but wetsuit divers and windsurfers are most at risk.

Who the hell, not only thinks up the possibility that suicide bombing terrorists might attack a battleship, but then thinks tranquilizer dart shooting dolphins are the answer, and not only that, they actually spend millions of dollars on training the dolphins and arming them with dart guns??!! That is, of course, a rhetorical question. We all know that the Americans will do it.

Anyway, I'm getting off the track. Evil dolphins. That's what I'm talking about. Some dolphins around Japan have been caught trying to grow more fins! Maybe they are trying to grow legs and come back on the land. Look out if they do! They already have working dart guns!

The good news is that there are people who can see the threat. Anti-Dolphin.org give us hope by showing us tactical information on the dolphins and showing us ways that the dolphins can attack and take over the world. They already have 70% of it - and the Flipper theme song proclaims them the King of the sea! Know your enemy.

See you down at the harpoon shop.

Just makes me want to get one.

Check out the way this guy flies his model plane! Near the end of the clip he actually manages to flies it backwards! Great video. Check it out.


Awww, baby panda.

See the advisory for humans.

I could keep posting funny videos here all day. Like this one.

Nintendo Wii vs. Playstation3

Well I'm not much into console gaming but the new Wii controller is very intriguing and this ad is pretty compelling.



Damn, if I want Blu-Ray, I'll stick in in my PC.

Funny Ads

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There are some clever ads on Google Video. I got a great list of funny clips simply by searching for "ad". At the time of writing, the top ad was the "Big Ad" from Carlton Draught. Now they have made some good ads. They've got one on their website at the moment. Its a send up of Flashdance about some guy trying to get a job at the factory... because he loves the beer. It's good. Funny. Better than watching commercial television, just go an watch all the ads online and skip the crap ones. Great idea.

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Chimp-O-matic

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Man with head in fruit bowl

Cool photo! Thanks bro...

Have you Googled "Net Neutrality" yet?

Here is a US Senator who obviously knows very little about what he's talking about and yet he's making decisions that affect the entire Internet!



Is this the way all US Politicians speak? With that many stutters and such a blindly ignorant view of his topic, you could almost mistake him for Bush! I listened to it all and it was very hard to make any sense of what he was saying. The closing text at the end says it all.

It is important that our leaders have an understanding of the topics they attempt to control through legislation. When they don't understand, we should help provide the knowledge they need.

And it finishes with Senator Ted Stevens Fax number and jokes about e-mail not getting there quickly.

Of course his comment on how the Internet "is a series of tubes" has been the target for many IT minded comediens.

Jon Stewart gave his two cents worth on the Daily Show on Comedy Central.





Until next time, surf freely, don't spam and trash chain letters.

Bored

If you are bored, check out Bored.com. Watchout for the pop-ups. And don't click the fart button.

Now to find me a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. Oh, for those that want to mix this drink using Earth ingrediants, here is a recipe for the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster #2 as described by Drinksmixer. It must be said that this is nothing more that a tribute to the real drink.

Ingrediants
35 ml Tia Maria
35 ml vodka
17.5 ml cherry brandy
1 dash lime juice
7-Up® soda
dry cider

Pour the tia maria, vodka and cherry brandy together into a pint glass. Add a dash of lime juice. Fill with equal amounts of dry cider and 7-up, and add ice cubes. Serve in a beer glass.

Drink up.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Well it depends on who you ask. Being reasonably brushed up on things Trek, I found this list at Section31.com amusing. I was surprised that no-one tried to beam the chicken across the road.

Worf: I do not know. Klingon chickens do NOT cross roads

Kirk: He probably just wanted...A PIECE OF THE ACTION!

Wesley: I'm not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete whootchacallit on the computers and...

Of course you could just Google it.

And on the subject of Trek, there is a new Star Trek movie in the works according to Section31 who found out at the official STARTREK.COM site. The guy who is producing the film is J.J. Abrams who also produced Alias and Lost and wrote Mission Impossible III. Is this a good thing? Why not. Rick Berman doesn't Trek anymore according to Wikipedia
but when you look at the list of shows that he wrote and/or produced on the imdb (over 600), its hard to think he wouldn't be involved if another series gets started up.

And if you are feeling particularly geeky, here is the

Top 20 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer

*"Section 31" is a "Men-In-Black" organization working for the interests of StarFleet in the StarTrek universe.